The Thrill of the Chaste: Finding Fulfillment While Keeping Your Clothes On
By Dawn Eden (W Publishing Group – a division of Thomas Nelson Publishers)Finally, a book on chastity not written for virgins! Dawn Eden, a New York City columnist turned author, has been there and done that. In the Thrill of the Chaste, Ms. Eden relates her past experience as a young single woman on the Manhattan sexual merry-go-round. She also explains why and how she became chaste.
After converting to Christianity, Eden determined that her sexual behavior did not conform to her new religion. She resolved to match her behavior with her religious beliefs and love for her new Savior. But chastity didn’t occur overnight. It took a while for her body to agree with her soul, there were times of resentment over perceived deprivation, and she fell back into her old sexual habits before achieving success in her behavior. Sound familiar? It’s the route many of us in the ex-gay community have traveled. Change didn’t occur for us overnight, and when it finally did occur, it was only after some false starts on a bumpy journey witnessed by incredulous friends who couldn’t understand our new religion or behavior.
Although battling a sore throat, Eden managed to read excerpts from her new book at an appearance at the Catholic Information Center in Washington DC. But we like this excerpt:
“On television and in movies, if a
single woman is friends with a man,
the pal is more often than not a homosexual. The message is that
heterosexual men aren’t capable of friendship, or even worthy of it.
In
contrast, gay men are depicted as safe and nonthreatening,
trustworthy,
and having more to give than straight men.
Imagine if the tables were turned. Imagine watching a TV sitcom
where
all the gay men are Neanderthal lunkheads, while the kind,
thoughtful
straight men are always ready to help their female friends without
asking sexual favors in return.
If you saw a show like that, you’d think the producers really had it
out
for gay men. Yet many women tolerate such stereotyping against
straight
men, because they’re conditioned to expect ‘manly men’ to lack
character. Part of this conditioning comes from the media, but a
large
part if it – I’d say, most – comes from such women’s own warped
perspectives, brought about by the superficial nature of their
dating
experiences.”
As you can see, Eden writes well and thinks deep thoughts. But best of all, she’s witty, so you won’t fall asleep reading another “don’t do it” chastity book. This is an R-Rated book for X-Rated people striving for a G-Rated life in Christ, so it’s not your typical chastity book for teens.
For example, another excerpt from the book hits so close to home
that it
almost hurts:
“The other night I had dinner with a male friend, a charming English
journalist I would date if he shared my faith (he doesn’t) and if he
were interested in getting married (ditto). He peppered me with
questions about chastity, even going so far as to suggest that
maybe,
given that I’d been looking for so long, I might not find the man I
was
looking for.
‘That’s not true,’ I responded. ‘My chances are better now than
they’ve
ever been, because before I was chaste, I was looking for love in
all
the wrong places. It’s only now that I’m truly ready for marriage
and
have a clear vision of the kind of man I want for my husband.’
’I may be thirty-seven,’ I concluded, ‘but in husband-seeking years,
I’m
only twenty-two.’”
Every ex-gay man and woman can relate to this experience. We didn’t start having interest in the opposite sex until we were in our 30’s or later. Dating someone whose genitals didn’t match our own was like experiencing puberty all over again at age 35. Marriage was not attainable for us until we finally achieved that clear vision Eden writes about, and that didn’t happen until much later in life. That an everstraight like Dawn Eden can perceive her situation and evaluate it so clearly is remarkable.
PFOX purchased a copy of The Thrill of the Chaste for our local library, and you should do the same. Purchasing information is available at www.thrillofthechaste.com