Pop Music Star Melissa Etheridge

Rock and roll icon Melissa Etheridge has had a lesbian relationship with actress Julie Cypher—former wife of actor Lou Diamond Phillips. Cypher’s transformation is remarkable, as she recalls for The Advocate:

“Well, I was straight. I was married to Lou Diamond Phillips. I’m originally from Texas, and he and I met there. I’d known lesbians as friends in college, but I’d never met a woman that I was attracted to, so lesbianism had never occurred to me—until I met Melissa. Then it occurred very strongly.” (The Advocate, 7-26-94, pg. 46)

Moreover, Cypher reveals a unique attitude toward her sexuality: “I think after growing up straight in Texas, when all of a sudden I found myself in a relationship with a woman, I didn’t see any reason why there should be a difference. Why is my relationship with this woman any different than my relationship with a man?” (Ibid., pg. 48

Cypher’s lover, Etheridge, concurs in the description of this fluid transformation:

“I wasn’t so worried about her straightness. She’s the perfect example of people being attracted to each other’s souls—whether male or female.” (Ibid.)

Melissa Etheridge also admits being attracted to men -- “I was 16 years old the last time I dated men. I dated my first woman when I was 17.”

And why is she attracted to women? Etheridge reveals a surprising rationale for her attractions to women. Although she claims to have been “born that way”, a significant contribution to her feelings came in her early environment. She concedes:

“My relationship with my mother. It was strained as a child, and I think that adds to my attraction to women. It’s about what I didn’t get as a child: that female energy I crave.” (Ibid.)

This deficit of female, motherly love was revealed at age eleven, when Melissa wrote only her second song, the revealing, “Lonely as a Child.” (Girlfriends, Jan/Feb 1996, pg. 6) Of course, a man could not meet such a “female energy” deficit. However, Etheridge rationalizes, “But I think I had to be born that way first.” (The Advocate,7-26-94, pg. 51) Denial and contradictions seem to be a staple of the “gay” mentality.