How to be a (Truly) Tolerant Christian
by Jim Blackburn
http://www.catholic.com/thisrock/2008/0810btb.asp
A recent "Dear Abby" column featured a letter from a woman who was
appalled that her husband’s parents had rejected their daughter
Mia’s lesbian lifestyle and treated her and those who embraced her
lesbianism as "sinners." They advised family members to stand up to
Mia and not let her "manipulate" them. Dear Abby’s advice included
the following statement: "Frankly, your sister-in-law must be
extremely resilient to have tolerated the abuse she’s getting from
these ‘good’ people … It seems this self-righteous family’s ‘moral
values’ do not include tolerance."
So according to Dear Abby, the lesbian is tolerant and the parents
with moral values are abusive, self-righteous, and intolerant.
Dear Abby’s attitude mirrors that of many people who identify
themselves as Christians today.
No Discrimination Allowed
An Internet search for "Christian tolerance" turns up such Web sites
as the Gay Christian Network and the Christian Tolerance Church,
which touts, "We believe that God loves all of his people in all of
our diversity, a diversity which God himself created." Of course God
loves everyone, but if "diversity" includes immoral lifestyles, then
God certainly did not create all diversity – he allows it but he
didn’t create it.
The Ontario Consultants on Religious Tolerance, "a multi-faith
group" state, "We do believe … In working towards a culture that is
relatively free of discrimination on the basis of gender, race,
sexual orientation, gender identity, religion, national origin,
physical disability, age, etc." The problem is, sexual orientation
and gender identity refer not simply to the conditions themselves
but also to the alternative lifestyle which often accompanies it.
The Web site exhorts, "People in the U.S. and Canada are going to
need religious understanding and tolerance in the future."
So it seems that entire organizations exist for the purpose of
promoting Christian tolerance in the world – specifically tolerance
of the gay and lesbian lifestyle. This might sound like a good
thing, but it seems that a permissive attitude toward the gay and
lesbian lifestyle is often the specific agenda of such
organizations. And this attitude is spreading. In fact, at Catholic
Answers, we often hear from Catholics who are dealing with their
Christian friends’ various interpretations of tolerance.
A woman recently questioned whether she had done the right thing by
not attending her lesbian daughter’s "wedding" ceremony. Her
daughter and a few other family members accused her of being
intolerance and even hateful for choosing to not attend. I’ve heard
many such stories and they often allege intolerance on the part of
the faithful Catholic.
Reject the Sin, Not the Person
To prove their point, such "tolerance" Christians often cite the
following Gospel story in which Jesus prevents the stoning of an
adulteress:
The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in
adultery, and placing her in the midst they said to him, "Teacher,
this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the law
Moses commanded us to stone such. What do you say about her?" This
they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring
against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the
ground. And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to
them, "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a
stone at her." And once more he bent down and wrote with his finger
on the ground. But when they heard it, they went away, one by one,
beginning with the eldest, and Jesus was left alone with the woman
standing before him. Jesus looked up and said to her, "Woman, where
are they? Has no one condemned you?" She said, "No one, Lord." And
Jesus said, "Neither do I condemn you; go and do not sin again."
(John 8:3-11)
This story is said to represent Jesus’ unconditional love for us
that we should also have for each other. Indeed it does, but what
exactly does that mean?
Some Christians would answer that, since we are all sinners, no
matter what a loved one does we should embrace his every action with
acceptance and joy. Anything less than that – for example, the
rejection of an immoral "alternative" lifestyle choice – is viewed
as a rejection of the whole person. Such rejection is then described
as "intolerance" and "hate." But is this really a scriptural view of
Christian tolerance?
It’s clear that Jesus rejected the scribes’ and Pharisees’
condemnation of the adulteress. He said as much after they left:
"Has no one condemned you?… Neither do I condemn you." But this
doesn’t mean that he embraced the woman’s sinful behavior or
expected her accusers to do so! In fact, he admonished the
adulteress, "do not sin again." Jesus does not condemn the sinner –
there is still hope for her salvation – but he does reject the
sinful behavior which could put her salvation in jeopardy.
This is precisely the teaching that the Catechism of the Catholic
Church (2357-2358) expounds concerning the treatment of those who
suffer from homosexuality.
Do not condemn the person: "[M]en and women who have deep-seated
homosexual tendencies … must be accepted with respect, compassion,
and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard
should be avoided." But do reject the sinful behavior: "Under no
circumstances can [homosexual acts] be approved."
So Catholic teaching is consistent with the Gospel passage above and
certainly does not support a definition of tolerance that condones
or embraces immoral behavior. But what do other biblical passages
say about tolerance?
A "Tolerable" Severity
Most English translations of the New Testament today do not include
the word "tolerance" at all. The closest many come is a few
instances of the word "tolerable."
These twelve [the apostles] Jesus sent out … to the lost sheep of
the house of Israel … "And if any one will not receive you or listen
to your words, shake off the dust from your feet as you leave that
house or town. Truly, I say to you, it shall be more tolerable on
the day of judgment for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah than for that
town." (Matt. 10:5-15; see also Luke 10:1-12)
Also:
Then he [Jesus] began to upbraid the cities where most of his mighty
works had been done, because they did not repent … "But I tell you,
it shall be more tolerate on the day of judgment for Tyre and Sidon
than for you. And you, Capernaum, will you be exalted to heaven? You
shall be brought down to Hades. For if the mighty works done in you
had been done in Sodom, it would have remained until this day. But I
tell you that it shall be more tolerable on the day of judgment for
the land of Sodom than for you." (Matt. 11:20-24; see also Luke
10:13-14)
In these passages, those who heard Jesus speak expected that the
cities of Sodom and Gomorrah (destroyed for their immorality – see
Gen. 19) and Tyre and Sidon (predominantly pagan cities) would be
dealt with severely on Judgment Day, but Jesus here indicates that
these cities’ severe treatment would be "more tolerable" than the
treatment of some others. Even so, such severe treatment would
hardly be something one would joyfully embrace or rejoice in. One
might rejoice in the fact that the treatment would not be as severe
as it could have been, but the treatment itself would surely be
nothing to embrace. It would be endured or borne.
The Greek word translated as "tolerable" in these passages is
anektoteron, and it does not appear anywhere else in the New
Testament. In fact, a search of the Revised Standard Version, a
relatively literal translation, contains only one other instance of
any form of the word tolerance at all: "But I have this against you,
that you tolerate the woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess
and is teaching and beguiling my servants to practice immorality and
to eat food sacrificed to idols" (Rev. 2:20).
Here, Christ actually rejects tolerance – he rebukes the church in
Thyatira for its tolerance of Jezebel who, among other things, was
influencing Christians to practice immorality. A modern-day attitude
which condones, embraces, or rejoices in the gay or lesbian
lifestyle should be rejected on this very basis.
That’s it as far as the use of the word "tolerance" goes in the New
Testament. Frankly, given that there is so little New Testament use
of the word in any of its forms, one could argue with many
Christians (e.g., sola scriptura adherents) that the word
"tolerance" hardly belongs in the Christian vocabulary at all, at
least not where immorality is concerned.
How Should We Act?
So how do we respond to allegations of intolerance by the gay
community and those who support it? We must go beyond word searching
and look for examples of how Christians ought to behave when faced
with the immoral behavior of others.
According to Scripture, Christian tolerance of undesirable behavior
seems to extend only to the point of putting up with it, enduring
it, or bearing it for a greater good. It never crosses the line into
condoning immorality. For example, when dealing with obstinate
disbelief Jesus said, "O faithless generation, how long am I to be
with you? How long am I to bear with you? (Mark 9:19).
Paul wrote to the Ephesians, "I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord,
beg you to lead a life worthy of the calling to which you have been
called, with all lowliness and meekness, with patience, forbearing
one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in
the bond of peace" (Eph. 4:1-3, emphasis added). It seems that Paul
encouraged Christians to bear with one another for the sake of
peaceful unity.
Similarly, to the Colossians, "Put on then, as God’s chosen ones,
holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, lowliness, meekness, and
patience, forbearing one another …" (Col. 3:12-13). And to the
Corinthians, "When reviled, we bless; when persecuted, we endure" (1
Cor. 4:12).
These passages seem to indicate that there are times when we must
put up with the undesirable actions of others – bear them, endure
them – without condemning anyone because condemnation belongs only
to God. But this does not mean that we are not to judge and condemn
sinful behavior itself, and there is even a point at which we must
distance ourselves from others to protect ourselves and our loved
ones from them.
This seems evident in the passage from the book of Revelation cited
above, as well as in the following teaching of Jesus:
If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between
you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your
brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along
with you, that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or
three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the
church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be
to you as Gentile and a tax collector. (Matt. 18:15-17)
Paul concurs: "Now we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord
Jesus Christ, that you keep away from any brother who is living in
idleness and not in accord with the tradition that you received from
us" (2 Thess. 3:6).
Reconciliation Is the Goal
Ultimately, rejecting a persons’ sinful behavior without condemning
him can help to lead that person to repentance and salvation. Paul
indicates this in God’s own example: "[D]o you presume upon the
riches of his [God’s] kindness and forbearance and patience? Do you
not know that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?"
(Rom. 2:4). That’s the goal: a loved one’s reconciliation with God
which will get him back on the path to salvation.
Tragically, it doesn’t always work out that way, and a Christian may
find that he is rejected with hostility for his own rejection of
another’s sinful lifestyle. This is all too common today when
dealing with those firmly embedded in the gay community.
But, in such situations, it can be comforting to know that Jesus
recognized division – even among family members – would sometimes be
a reality for those who remain faithful to him:
Do not think that I have come to bring peace on earth; I have not
come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man
against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a
daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man’s foes will be
those of his own household. He who loves father or mother more than
me is not worthy of me; and he who loves son or daughter more than
me is not worthy of me; and he does not take his cross and follow me
is not worthy of me. (Matt. 10:34-38)
However difficult this might become, we can rest assured that God
will ultimately take care of us. In Paul’s words, "what persecutions
I endured; yet from them all the Lord rescued me" (2 Tim. 3:11).
As for Dear Abby, she’ll just have to tolerate our "intolerance."
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