Hear our message, then judge

Dr. Bill Maier Special to The Desert Sun newspaper September 17, 2006

By now, most everyone in the Coachella Valley has heard about Focus on the Family's Love Won Out conference coming to Indian Wells on Sept. 23. Most of what's been heard, unfortunately, has been unrelentingly negative - from the uproar directed at Palm Springs Mayor Ron Oden for simply welcoming us to the area, to the protests of gay Desert Sun readers who cancelled their subscriptions because the paper dared put a story about our event on the front page.

We'll admit, our conference offers a perspective on homosexuality that is in stark contrast to that which is touted by America's major gay organizations. While they claim that homosexuals are "born gay," we agree with the official position of the American Psychiatric Association that homosexuality develops across a person's lifetime and is likely caused by a complex combination of factors.

Our purpose is to reach out with compassion to those struggling with unwanted same-sex attraction and their family members, debunking the myth propagated by gay activists that sexual orientation is fixed for life and cannot be modified.

Evidence for change

National gay organizations and local activists are incensed by the very existence of Love Won Out. One recent letter writer to The Desert Sun accused us of "spewing more hatred and bigotry than the Ku Klux Klan." Another wrote that we "lie about Jesus" and claimed we are to blame for depression, substance abuse and suicide among gays. Even The Desert Sun's editorial board has weighed in, labeling our message "abhorrent" and "clearly a slap in the face" to the gay community ("Focus on Family's message offensive, slap in the face," Sept. 10), two weeks before we've even had the chance to present our message locally.

So what will those who attend hear? Courageous men and women like my ex-gay friends Mike, Melissa, Alan and Randy, delivering a message of hope and healing to those living with unwanted same-sex attraction. Press them, and they might tell you how gay activists often confront them in public and scream "You don't exist!" in their faces. They could describe profanity-laced e-mails and phone calls, hate mail smeared with feces and death threats directed at their families.

Although gay organizations have tried to suppress it, recent scientific research confirms that permanent change is indeed possible. Just ask psychiatrist Robert Spitzer, a professor at Columbia University who is so sympathetic to gay politics that in 1973 he helped to persuade the American Psychiatric Association to remove homosexuality from its list of mental disorders. In the past few years, though, he has become convinced that some gays and lesbians have been able to successfully change their sexual orientation.

Spitzer conducted a five-year study of 200 gay men and women who had sought "reorientation" therapy. He found that most of them have achieved fulfilling, long-term heterosexual relationships.

Practice tolerance

Stubbornly ignoring this research (and the evidence of changed lives), gay activists routinely protest and disrupt Love Won Out conferences around the country. In St. Louis, billboards promoting the event (like those currently up in the valley) were defaced. In Minneapolis, a group calling itself the "Lesbian Avengers" blew rape whistles, shouted at the presenters and vandalizing the church's restrooms. In Houston, while one of the speakers was describing painful memories of childhood sexual abuse, a gay couple interrupted her with a French-kissing session in front of the podium.

Local gay groups plan to picket Southwest Community Church on Sept. 23, too. They'll undoubtedly talk a lot about "tolerance," but we'll be looking for real examples of it - examples like that presented by Mayor Oden.

Our hope is that some who come to protest us will set aside their picket signs and give the speakers a fair hearing. After all, isn't that what respecting diversity is all about?

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Reach Dr. Bill Maier, a child and family psychologist and serves as vice president and psychologist-in-residence at Focus on the Family in Colorado Springs, Colo: culturalissues@family.org