Become a PFOX Friend

A VISIT FROM PLFAG

Never one to believe in coincidences, I shot up a quick prayer upon finding out at the PTA school meeting that PFLAG had canceled their scheduled presentation at our school for the second time: "Lord, if you are trying to tell me something, please don't let me miss it." Feeling chagrined that we had gathered, and there was nothing else on the agenda, the principal - a professional woman who spoke with an air of confidence - asked if we had any questions.

I asked, "Who is PFLAG and what is the purpose of their presentation?" The principal elaborated by explaining that PFLAG was the name of a national organization whose acronym stood for "Parents and Families of Lesbians and Gays." As for their purpose, she explained how PFLAG wanted to place an ongoing advertisement in the high school newspaper.

She then said: "Did you know that gay and lesbian youth account for 30% of all youth suicides?" "Thirty percent?" I thought. "Where did this statistic come from?" My curiosity got the best of me. Once back home,I phoned Focus on the Family (http://www.family.org) and asked if they could send me any information regarding gay youth suicides. Focus On the Family sent me a dozen research papers, two books on the topic of homosexuality, a cassette tape and several pamphlets.

I wasn't sure how I was going to find the time to digest that much information. However, PFLAG had rescheduled their presentation, and I wanted to be well informed, ask intelligent questions, and know if what they depicted was true and factual. I began searching for additional resources and stumbled onto the PFLAG website. That same statistic jumped out at me again: "gay and lesbian youth may account for up to 30% of all youth suicide." But that's not true and my research proved it wasn't true!

Other PFLAG information jumped out at me: "the homosexual lifestyle is as healthy as a straight lifestyle." No way! I had read several books with entire chapters devoted to the medical risks involved with the homosexual lifestyle. Perhaps the most frightening thing of all was discovering "25 Ways PFLAG Makes Schools Safer Every Day" list. I felt numb by the time I reached number 25. PFLAG would not be content to just place an ad in our school newspaper. It was obvious they had bigger plans.

God began quietly speaking to me, "You need to do more than be well informed. You need to make a presentation." I spent the next week praying about this, trying to convince God that surely someone more dynamic was needed for this assignment. At week's end, however, I knew God was tapping my shoulder for this task. Two weeks before the scheduled date, I phoned the principal and requested to be placed on the agenda to make a presentation following PFLAG.

Two concerns faced me. First, after my research, my compassion for homosexuals had grown deeper. These struggling people needed our love,not our condemnation! How could this feeling be conveyed while at the same time countering an organization that says it "protects" homosexuals? Second, how could I approach this without mentioning God? After all, I was "playing on public school turf" -- God is not allowed. But God clamed my fears: "Show them your heart, tell them the truth. I will guide you." And guide He did.

While back on the internet, I found a website for PFOX (Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays). PFOX? I had never heard of this group. However, I only needed to read the opening page of the website to realize God was giving me another earthly partner for encouragement and support. What's more, there was an email address readily available. I used it to send out my plea for help and within 12 hours I had a response from Regina Griggs, PFOX Director. She was an answer to prayer! The amazing thing about God is, when He is working in a situation, He takes care of all the details.

My husband and I knew a gay man from our past. He had since spent the past two and a half years in an ex-gay ministry. I called Chuck. He sounded great even though he was HIV positive. Chuck lived five hours away, but informed me that he would join me at the school presentation.

We prayed. When the date arrived, I learned that PFLAG's presentation was going to last two hours. The principal informed me that she had another meeting she needed to attend immediately afterwards. Knowing that I wanted her to listen to my presentation, she made concessions and requested that PFLAG divide their time into two segments, with me speaking in between the two segments.

It didn't seem ideal, but God was in control. During the first segment, the PFLAG representative gave those very same statistics I had read on their website. Then I had my opportunity to respond. God gave me my last pep talk: "Show them your heart. Tell them the truth. Let Me do the work." I presented my facts and used 20 of my promised 30 minutes. This allowed Chuck to give his ex-gay testimony to the group.

The PFLAG representative was not happy with my speech, but it was astonishing to see her reaction when Chuck got up to speak about ex-gays and their inclusion in the school system. She did everything in her power to cut his speech short.

She walked around to take attention away from Chuck and repeatedly asked the principal to let her continue. All of this in a matter of two minutes! Under this pressure, the principal asked him to end his talk after only four minutes. PFLAG was then allowed to assemble their panel of gays and lesbians for an hour of "discussion with the audience."

Discouraging? Perhaps it was that day. I simply couldn't believe the amount of lies I had heard that morning that were being counterfeited as truth. I was encouraged by phone calls from praying friends who thanked me for sharing the truth.

The following week I learned through an email from the principal that school administrators were not only considering allowing a continual ad in the school newspaper, but also were considering whether to allow PFLAG to help with staff development, to change wording in the school policy handbook, to start a special club for gays and lesbians, and other things she listed as "etc." As diplomatic as the principal had been, it became painfully obvious that she was a supporter of PFLAG only and not of PFOX.

However, our school district's superintendent, upon my informing him that PFLAG had been allowed to make a presentation at our school without equal time for PFOX, assured us that he would keep PFLAG out of our school. Our prayer is that even those who go against the ex-gay community will be softened and receptive. This is our calling, to present the truth. If anti-ex-gay activists are coming to your school, take a stand! If we truly love the gay community, we'll do just that!

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